The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
