Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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