new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
