Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
