i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
