it wasn't lemon gatorade
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he thought i was a dude.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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