Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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