he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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