I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
