My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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