I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
