OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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