my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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