my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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