I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
