ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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