So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
