Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
