pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
