Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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