Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
