How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
