Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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