Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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