Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
