Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
