For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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