The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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