Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
