i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
