Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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