T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
