i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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