I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
