I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
