brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
