Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
