i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
