YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
