What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
