i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
