idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
