Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Come see our sink grown plant.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
