Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
