Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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