Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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