hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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