words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
