I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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