It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
